As it becomes apparent that your elderly loved ones require assistance, discussing this topic with them may prove difficult. Elderly individuals tend to resist requests for aid if they’re in denial; therefore it’s vital that this discussion be done in an approachable manner and with empathy.
Lum suggests recruiting additional trusted individuals, such as other family members or social workers from a clinic or case managers from community organizations, as additional support in order to facilitate conversation about caregiving challenges. She suggests practicing gratitude as another powerful positive psychology concept which can keep one focused and healthy when caring for loved ones is demanding.
Communication during this difficult period involves setting realistic expectations of your aging parents, and setting boundaries around too much information being presented at once. Avoid overwhelming them with all they need to know at once as this can trigger their fear of losing control, while too much information could make them resistant to your request for assistance.
When discussing your aging parents’ needs and wants, be sure to discuss all available housing, caregiving and medical options as well as potential financial realities that could come into play – this may require discussing financial realities but be ready for it if that becomes necessary in determining the best course of action for everyone involved. Most importantly, remember that growing old is never easy and sometimes frustrating but railing against things out of our control won’t change anything, just exhaust you both further and provide no satisfaction to either party involved.