As our loved ones age, adult children may struggle to know when and how best to step in and offer assistance. Some aging parents realize they require assistance, while others may be unwilling to ask for it or may hide risky behavior or medical conditions from family and friends.
Respect their autonomy, but if they cannot care for themselves or have dangerous habits that place their health at risk, intervention may be necessary. At the same time, take care to not allow your stress and anxiety turn into anger at them or resentment for their stubbornness; confide in friends or a professional in order to talk through your emotions and relieve some of the pressure.
Lum cautions that discussing needing more assistance may be uncomfortable for your parents, but is essential in creating an atmosphere where they feel heard and understood. She suggests holding conversations over time with various members of your family including trusted additional family members as well as social workers from local Area Agencies on Aging (AAOA).
“Having a checklist of assessments prepared can also be useful when talking with parents about their situation, helping them understand that you’re assessing their needs to assess whether there is need for help and identify what types of support there may be,” according to Eldercare Locator website. For additional resources and information, consider Eldercare Locator as another great source.